Sunday, May 9, 2010

Happy Mothers Day

Today as I sit here and think about what today means to me I remember back to our tough journey to become parents. How hard it was, how we longed to have the children we do today and what a joy it was to finally become them.
The journey started not long after we married in 1999. We wanted nothing more than to bring children into this world and raise them to be productive members of society. But it was not something that was going to come easily for us. We tried for a very long time, many false hopes and squashed dreams. It wasn't until 4.5 years later that we would finally see those 2 bright blue lines on a stick that we had purchased so many times and thrown away just as many. We were very excited but isn a cautious way. We had tried on our own, and were just about to go full force into fertility treatments when it happened. We were actually waiting for the beginning of that next cycle to start. It was January 9th that we found out and a day that we will never forget. The next 9 months were a flurry of ups and downs. I was sick with morning sickness until the day our daughter arrived. The tiredness was something like I had never experienced before. But the joys that I felt when I would feel that little being move around inside me was something I had longed for. I complained about her tiny toes being stuck in my ribs but deep down I was thankful for them at the same time.
While we thought we were ready for her arrival I can honestly say now looking back, it was much easier to have toes stuck in your ribs that it is to raise a child in the world we live in. It is not something I could ever give up but it is something that is a bigger challenge than I knew was coming.
The delivery was not what we expected, after several failed attempts to induce and her not coming on her own, we ended up in a c-section. I felt deflated, this was not how things were supposed to go, but looking back now, I am glad to have my beautiful daughter and it really doesn't matter how she entered the world.
The days were much more beautiful and more interesting than I could have ever imagined on my own. I found a new liking for the small things in life. I saw things I hadn't seen in years.
And 2.5 years later we welcomed her little sister into the world. Another bundle of joy that reminds us of what the world should be but maybe isn't.
And when she was 10 months old we found out we were expecting again. A shock to say the least. And 9 months later we welcomed our son into our arms.
While I can't say for sure that our family is complete, it feels complete most days. The children are close enough together that they are able to play together. They have the fights as all siblings do, but the looks they give to each other of pure love is something that melts my heart.
The family I have today is so very special and each day I thank the lord to have them, even as I am asking what was I thinking and when is their bed time.

1 comment:

  1. hi! i love your comment on the rowan tree, so son and i were playing cowboy riding our horses and i said to him: dont we need to call our mommys (on mothers day) and he said (he is 5) " oh no, cowboys dont need mamas, they just eat meat and stuff.."